Just 48 hours ago, Queen Elizabeth was photographed meeting the new prime minister, Liz Truss.
The Queen, age 96, asked the Prime Minister, her 15th(!), to form a government in her name.
iconic
Americans look to the monarch of a government that theirs fought so hard to separate from with a reverent, but suspicious eye.
We know the concept of it would never work here – we aren’t parliamentary and never will be – but the sense of duty is one that is alien, mystical to our current culture.
queen, always
You have a job – one that you didn’t ask for.
If you choose to leave that job, you doom your children and grandchildren.
The only way out of that job is your eventual death.
Everyone will be watching.
the big brother house before the big brother house
Meanwhile, Americans wish our elected officials would just retire, or choose someone to take their place.
It was always a special treat to see the Special Relationship between our elected leaders and the Queen.
the band actually played ”the lady is a tramp” during this dance
She met thirteen of our Presidents, and according to one, enjoyed meeting them all.
Her role existed outside of politics, but revealed a keen political mind.
The Queen has long been one of the two or three best political minds alive. But she has now read every state paper for 70 years. She is a combination of skill and deep working knowledge unpararelled in the modern world.
That sense of duty has driven the Queen since the day she took office at age 25 upon her father’s unexpected passing.
Seven decades later, and she was able to witness the Diamond Jubilee, a celebration of all things good about her and her reign.
That reign saw many breathtaking advancements in the way we live.
A former close member of her staff mentioned how continually curious she was about two things – technology and the people around her.
It was no small feat for her, as a young woman, to take up duties during WWII as a mechanic.
In later years, she took great delight driving folks around in one of her many British-made vehicles, to the delight of some and fear of others. The latter category included the King of Saudi Arabia, terrified of a woman driving him around palace grounds in 2003.
imagine pulling up to a red light and seeing this
Through it all she remained humble, choosing simple meals, TV trays, tupperware, and gin drinks over the traditional pomp and circumstance.
mood
Yet she always maintained a place for special occasions, and in a 1992 documentary, showed just how important she took the duty of a royal dinner to entertain visiting heads of state.
Another clip during a more recent interview shows her explaining the true difficulty of wearing the crown (it’s heavy) and illustrates her approach to the role – to be the best caretaker one can be, then to pass it on to the next generation upon God’s request.
Most of her contemporaries have passed, most notably her strength and stay, The Duke of Edinburgh, last year.
To have command of so much and yet able to enact restraint is a hallmark of a successful woman.
The original girl boss. One of the most inspirational women. The end of an era. 👑 RIP 💔 https://t.co/WZWpGIaXoH
I hate to dash all your “little girl in a pink party dress” (trademark pending) dreams of becoming a “little princess in a pink party dress”, but getting a royal title isn’t as easy as slipping a mickey in a prince’s drink on a yacht in the Mediterranean.
disney princess in the making!
But the previous post on Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Phillip opened a question – how’s she Queen and her husband Prince? Are they into some role-play we don’t know about?
hold my coat, bitch
The following is a conversation which happened post-the-last-post:
Faithful Reader: I don’t watch the crown or know this stuff but Prince Phillip is Queen-E’s … husband? How come he’s so non-prominent? And why he no the king?
FR: oh. Couple married 70 years. Yea. Okay. So why’s he so background then?
ILGIPPD: under their system, the spouse can’t take a title higher than the inherited rulerif the inherited ruler’s a man, the spouse gets the feminine version (duke / duchess)
ILGIPPD: if the inherited ruler’s a woman, the spouse gets no title, but the ruler is allowed to give them one
FR: So it would have been King Charles and Duchess Diana?
FR: Or no. cuz princess is greater than duchess? Wtf is this shit
ILGIPPD: phillip was a prince of an extinct throne (prince of greece or some shit) before marrying the queen and had to give that up, and then she gave him a title a few years after being married of “prince”
ILGIPPD: it would’ve been (additionally, confusingly) King Charles and Diana, Queen Consort
remember when Newsweek thought they could add some wrinkles onto Princess Diana and call it a day?
Does that clear it up for everyone? Their system sounds wrong to begin with – after all, it looks like men in the line get the best opportunity here, their partner gets to take a version of their title and everyone’s happy.
Then you realize that if a woman inherits the throne, she actually gets all the power – her mere mortal husband doesn’t even have to get a title.
yes, that’s her full title. yes, I’d make people address me by it in its entirety if I was her. yes, i’d have an alligator pit if they got it wrong
In fact, Queen Elizabeth II waited a full decade after they were married to give Phillip the title of Prince.
as depicted on Netflix’s “The Crown”, or to The Queen, “hey, I remember that”
Still no word on what happens to gay royals – the Queen’s bisexual cousin Lord Ivar Mountbatten married a male flight attendant in 2018 but it doesn’t look like they became Lord and Lord (hope they didn’t order the monogrammed towels too soon).
The moral of the story?
If you’re a non-royal woman – get your bikini and hangover cure ready, you’re headed to a dock in Monaco!
Prince Phillip (yes, the guy from The Crown you all flick your clits to) just turned 99 this week IRL, and bless him, he doesn’t look a day over 98.
upper: me before coffee
lower: me after coffee
By 99 I hope I’m still vertical, so cheers to Prince Phillip on this historical occasion.
He’s taken it a little more easy the past year or so, given that we’re still in a pandemic (though he probably has the antibodies for the Spanish Flu of 1918) and a car accident about a year ago when he flipped a Land Rover on its roof (metal af).
lower: me before coffee
To commemorate his birthday, The Royal Family did what all influencers do: post to their Instagram account.
And what’s better than a charming photo of a couple married 70 years?
When you think about the most powerful woman on TV, who comes to your mind?
Oprah?
we been knew
Kris Jenner?
the look u give when they only put one ketchup in the bag
Kris Jenner as one of the Masked Singers?
imagine her pulling off the mask and unleashing radiation upon the audience
Surprisingly it’s not someone on your screen – it’s someone whose decisions determine which women you see on your screen, which shows feature them, the channels that feature those shows, the networks that show those channels, and the corporations that control those networks.
how my readers see me
It’s Shari Redstone, President of National Amusements, a company most of you have probably never heard of. Sounds like they might run a Ferris wheel somewhere.
Shari owns 20% of this little, unknown company, and her elderly father, Sumner Redstone, owns the other 80%. Why does this matter?
National Amusements has 80% voting power stakes in CBS and Viacom. CBS is one of the “Big Three” major networks (NBC, ABC the other two) and Viacom is one of the “Big Five” cable networks (add FOX to the above list).
Viacom alone is responsible for most of the major cable channels you know and love:
and they own couple dozen more channels. oh and Paramount Pictures too.
Despite having such a large interest in this corporation which controls all these networks who own all these channels that show all these programs, Shari Redstone has a problem: these two large networks, CBS and Viacom, have strong competition. Individual shows go head to head with ABC hits, FOX News, and NBC primetime. But as a whole, they’re struggling: ABC is owned by Disney, and NBC by Comcast – major international conglomerates that own methods of distribution (the TV providers themselves) and content libraries (Disney, which now owns 20th Century Fox, has more and more valuable content than anyone). And that’s not to mention upstarts like Netflix with tens of millions of subscribers.
Shari had a brilliant concept: combine CBS and Viacom into a giant global media conglomerate, compete with everyone, and even the playing field.
Just one problem: no one wanted it. Not the CBS shareholders, the Viacom shareholders, not the board members of either company, not even her ailing father who separated the companies in 2006 to make each individually viable and valuable.
CBS and Viacom, 2006
In 2016, Shari’s 92-year-old father, Sumner Redstone resigned as Executive Chairman of CBS, with most concerned about his ill-health and absence at earnings calls which he’d been a fixture of. His successor was named as Les Moonves, a well known CBS executive and wife of Julie Chen, host of “The Talk” and “Big Brother”. According to CBS, Shari declined the position of Executive Chairman before Moonves was tapped for the role.
However, Sumner Redstone, got around quite a bit – allegedly showering two young girlfriends with expensive gifts while typing commands into an iPad through his medical decline.
quite the threesome!
His two “companions”, Manuela Herzer and Sydney Holland, both sued after being kicked and locked out of Sumner’s lavish Beverly Park estate and closed off from his life. Their lawsuit alleged Shari wanted control of her father’s company, claiming that he was in bad shape.
Herzer’s legal team challenged Redstone’s petitions, contending that the mogul long ago lost his mental competence and that lawyers who surround him don’t really know what his wishes are. Her team tried for more than three years to get a judge to declare Redstone mentally incompetent; they did not succeed.
Bothlawsuits have since been settled, and while most of terms remain confidential, the bits we know of are fascinating:
An “interpreter” present to translate Redstone’s deeply troubled speech asked the lawyer to repeat his question slowly. But before she could do so, Redstone responded: “She is—Manuela is a fucking bitch.” So began the long-awaited testimony of Redstone, who was deposed yesterday for just 18 minutes at his Beverly Hills mansion.
As his final question, O’Donnell asked Redstone if he confronted her about why he wanted her to leave his house. Redstone said he did not. Asked “why not,” Redstone replied: “Because she’s a fucking bitch.”
Hell of a move for dad to go on record calling his ex a “fucking bitch”.
As part of the agreement, Herzer agreed to pay the Redstone family $3.25 million to reimburse Redstone for some of the gifts that she had received from him. Herzer also agreed not to sue the family again.
Even bigger move to get one of your multibillionaire dad’s sidechicks to reimburse him for the gifts.
if I were him I’d stare too
The next target? Les Moonves, that new Chief Executive of CBS, and steadfast opponent to any kind of CBS/Viacom merger.
At CBS, the once-popular Chief Executive Leslie Moonves bristled over Shari Redstone’s control and desire to reunite CBS and Viacom. In May, CBS filed a lawsuit to strip the Redstones of their voting control of the company, but that effort collapsed in September when Moonves became mired in a sexual harassment scandal that ultimately cost him his job and a $120-million severance package.
The biggest move: hush-hush sexual harassment allegations about your chief rival to drop loudly during #MeToo.
gotta be embarrassing for your wife to have to resign because you were outed as a predator in charge of the network she has two shows on
That wasn’t all that was in the hush-hush Moonves settlement, however:
Forget about the fact that as part of the September 2018 separation agreement between CBS and Les Moonves, National Amusements had agreed not to initiate another merger between CBS and Viacom for two years. That was just a clever legal sleight of hand, or so it seems.
Two years before being able to merge the companies, right? That pushes us well into 2020, and by then who knows how much bigger Netflix or ABC can get?
Remember Shari’s last remaining hurdle – the boards of directors at CBS and Viacom?
Unlike the previous two times she pushed for a merger, however, this time Shari faces no meaningful opposition to her schemes. Moonves is gone; the old guard on CBS’s board once loyal to him has been swept away and replaced by a slate of FOSes (Friends of Shari); and the interim C.E.O. of CBS, Joe Ianniello, who presumably wants the job on a permanent basis, is unlikely to thwart Shari, which is also true of any of the senior CBS executives who are rooting for him. Meanwhile, over at Viacom, opposition to Shari has long since been silenced. Like at CBS, the board of directors of Viacom appears aligned with her way of thinking, as does the new C.E.O. Bob Bakish, who owes his unlikely elevation to the top spot at the company, in December 2016, to Shari. He won’t be uttering a peep against whatever she wants to do.
Oh but damn – what about that pesky legal agreement that says “NO MERGER FOR TWO YEARS”?
What if instead of National Amusements initiating a third merger attempt between the two companies, the boards of the two companies—whose members have nearly all been hand-picked during Shari’s recent ascent—initiated the merger discussions? Surely that subtlety wouldn’t violate the agreement between Moonves and Redstone, would it?
After three years of negotiations, CBS and Viacom are coming together to form a new $30 billion company, controlled by Shari Redstone and cementing her status as possibly the most influential woman in media, NBC News reported.
Shari Redstone has now created CBSViacom, Inc. – which has the largest share of the US TV audience of any other corporation or network, and is #1 in the key demographics (which is how channels calculate ratings nowadays).
So let’s catch up: Shari wanted to merger these companies to make a media giant but faced giant opposition. So, she made sure her father was declared not too incapacitated to scare away two girlfriends who wanted $50m in gifts but encouraged him to step down from his business because of his health, and declined to be named his successor. That gave her the room for a rival to be nominated, which gave her time to slowly put allies in the right spots on the board. And when that rival was #MeToo’d, she was finally able to bring together the two companies, making her fantastically wealthy – and the most powerful woman in TV.
surprise bitch, I bet you thought you’d seen the last of me
But what does she want to do with all that power? That’s another story for another day…
The first night of the second Democratic primary debate is over, an opportunity for America to be introduced to a diverse array of mostly unknown governors and members of congress.
diverse!
Remember: Washington is high school, and the race for class president brings out the truly insufferable.
However, there’s a beacon of hope, a crystal glimmering in the moonlight. It’s Marianne Williamson, the outsider 2020 candidate who’s channeled her career as an author and public speaker into a vision of America in the 21st century.
queen
Debate viewers noticed her quirky, sunny demeanor in night two of the first debate, where the focus was on lightning round introductions and making sure Joe Biden stayed awake.
how does Bernie look younger?
In the second debate, she’s stepped into her own. Google Trends show a coast to coast spike in interest across 49 states for Marianne, excluding Montana where residents are apparently looking up their own Governor.
What received particular praise were her open and closing statements, as well as her pointed remarks on a subject uncomfortable for many political candidates: reparations to African-American descendants of slaves.
Conventional political wisdom is that candidates like Marianne would be uncomfortable with the issues – after all, members of Congress and state government and plain ol politicians have been steeped in these issues since government class in high school. They live and breathe talking points.
this, but with politicians
However, much like Trump, Marianne has shown that a lifetime as an author, public speaker, and media personality puts the candidates from the political world at a disadvantage. She can be off-the-cuff, fluid, steady, and speak in a more human and less rehearsed way. This same ability allowed Trump to steamroll 16 Republican candidates from all over the political field (and poor Dr. Ben Carson, who at least got that sweet cabinet gig).
“magic hands” indeed
History’s repeating itself, and the Democratic field doesn’t know how to handle Marianne. Their first instinct is to laugh and joke – remind you of what they did to that guy 4 years ago?
It would be unprecedented to have a general election between a businessman and a businesswoman – much as it was unprecedented for a businessman to win a primary and a general election four years ago. Much as it was unprecedented for a woman to run for President and win a nomination.
queen
Primary voters now are responsive to a candidate that’s on brand – a candidate that speaks to the soul of a party, not just one that repeats a few rehearsed lines, kisses some babies, and calls it a day. It’s why Trump has a 90% approval rating among Republicans.
When asked about the first issue they'd tackle if elected president, Marianne Williamson said she'd call New Zealand's prime minister to say "the United States of America is going to be the best place in the world for a child to grow up" https://t.co/THE0z1clIy#DemDebate2pic.twitter.com/0oFVTC4ddb
And honey, what’s more on-brand for Democrats than: a Department of Peace, an acknowledgment and repair of the racial divide, a statement like: “Where politics has become an instrument of fear, let’s turn it into an instrument of love”?
Imma keep this brief: Marianne Williamson is the ideal Democratic candidate in the year of our lordt(TM) 2018 that can challenge Donald Trump.
She’s from outside the mainstream (not a senator, congressperson, governor, so on), celebrity-supported (they didn’t call her “The Kardashian Kandidate” for nothing), Oprah-approved (like Trump in the 80s!).
living for this oprah hairstyle evolution
LA people are familiar with Marianne, but during the 2nd half of the first Democratic 2020 debate, she was introduced to many people: “yasss kween” Brooklynites, confused Boomers watching CNN, and the usual political gadflies.
the power in this image
Her videos are unplanned, almost precocious in their presentation, much unlike the disturbingly-coiffed Biden apologia, Instagram-ready BTS Buttigieg clips, and potential Klobuchar snuff films.
Her tweets are off-the-cuff, not the words of pretzel-twisted campaign consultants or focus-tested gladhanders, much like our Tweeter-in-chief.
Each of us is pregnant with a better version of ourselves.— Marianne Williamson (@marwilliamson) August 8, 2012
“Know when to walk away from the table.” The Art of the Deal— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 27, 2011
She’s known for her books, her coziness with A-listers, and the bon mots that are a salve for a certain demographic in America: somewhere along the way, something went very wrong. We don’t win anymore, we’ve lost ourselves, we have to do things completely differently. For Trump that’s an external battle against a never-ending onslaught of enemies: China, the Swamp, and so on. For Marianne, that battle is an internal one, the soul of America. You won’t find marginal change within the constructs of the existing system here.
Marianne was the first to throw reparations on the table in this cycle, taking an issue unspoken but felt among a major group of Americans and tossing it into the center of the ring. Now most major candidates have thrown some soundbite or another to the cameras to just.get.through yet another news cycle. It’s the immigration of this election, and the candidate with the correct answer will capture the base. And of course, make some very wealthy people very uncomfortable.
She targets the spiritual crisis in America, advocating for an awakening that’s parts Aimee Semple, parts crystal alignment, part metaphysics. Tone-wise, they couldn’t be more opposite.
Marianne is ready to hug our enemies, Trump wants to “beat the hell” out of them. Both find comfort in being diametrically opposed to war with Iran. Both agree on China.
What else could be more representative of the right-left id than a gold-plated wheeler-and-dealer billionaire businessman versus a soft-spoken, self-empowering female author who reminds you of your therapist?
In their respective realms, Donald and Marianne are blatantly authentic. They dance goofily for the camera. They’re not awkwardly cracking beers, flailing on stage, or pretending to tolerate some Iowa corn shucking festival.
I need to learn Spanish by tomorrow night at 9.— Marianne Williamson (@marwilliamson) June 27, 2019
I mean come on, who else is self-effacing enough to whip out the above when candidates are climbing over each other to spit out a few Taco Bell menu phrases and pander to the audience?
¿DONDE ESTA LA BIBLIOTECA?
Trump, Marianne: they’d be comfortable not winning. They have millions of dollars to go home to. They weren’t poli-sci majors. They’re millionaire self-help authors. This isn’t their end-all, be-all.
They’re giving us entertainment while having fun. What more could we ask for?
When YouTube beauty vlogger James Charles was publicly criticized and condemned by a former friend and mentor, Tati Westbrook, Charles released a response video admitting to and apologizing for some of the more vague aspects of the charges against him. The apology video, released amid a mass unfollowing and unsubscribing of Charles’ followers on YouTube and Instagram, backfired immensely as it received nearly no positive reviews or reactions by fellow media figures and the watching public alike. The most common criticism of Charles’ response video was its apparent insincerity showcased not only by the lack of specific addressing to the most cruel and offensive claims that Tati made about him in her original video, but for its seeming “paint by numbers” approach to what is now an often mocked trope called “The YouTube Apology Video”.
Below, a body language expert points out several manifestations of these insincerity “tells” present in James Charles’ movements, tone, and expression in the now infamous video.
Just when you think you’ve seen all of Kim Kardashian, she somehow manages to show you more.
how can a dress make someone look more naked than if they were…y’know, naked?
Kim stunned this week in a black cutout dress, but this futuristic look comes from all the way back in 1998 – a vintage Thierry Mugler creation.
crawford and campbell…ICONIC
Mugler was the original bad boy of 90s fashion, known for daring cutouts, hyperexaggerated lines, and curious geometry.
You may have seen his work before on another short queen…
Gaga was, in fact, so entranced by his work that her first runway show was with her former stylist’s inaugural Mugler collection, right around the Born This Way era.
Weirdly, the least interesting thing about Mugler is the fashion. Take a look at the man himself, from the 90s and now:
was this a plastic surgery Groupon?
The comparison curse has struck Kim’s dress too, with some in our petty newsroom (not me, I’m terrified of Kris Jenner’s biblical wrath) side by siding it with a certain Star Wars character:
omfg NOOOOOOOOO
But surprisingly, the show-it-tall dress wasn’t the main controversy here.
Kim came out swinging against “fast fashion” labels, who copied the look of her dress in a scheme to get people signed up on their mailing lists.
If this dress can kill the tacky FashionNova trend, then maybe it really did some good.
No, it’s not that denim thing that you’d see on the girthy/wealthy arm of Jessica Simpson, and no, it’s not the Murakami bag that looks like a 4-year-old designed it.
It’s an aluminum trunk that’s so heavy, your staff would need staff to carry it.
Best part? Becky down the block isn’t going to have one of these – there’s only two in the world, and the other’s in the Louis Vuitton museum *Oceans 8 theme starts playing*.
if you have to ask how much it weighs, you can’t lift it
Price? Christie’s auction house estimates around $63,000 – still not as much as a crocodile Birkin, but could you hide a body in a crocodile Birkin?
With all these Instathots and Disney Channel stars trying to take over Hollywood, you can be forgiven for thinking that 20 year old skinny, basic girls are a dime a dozen.
We don’t know their names, their faces blend together, and they all wear the same combo of streetwear and hoe couture.
But one name stands out: Paris Jackson.
Michael Jackson’s beloved young daughter, who gave a heartfelt and moving speech at her dad’s funeral, has been hitting Hollywood hard lately, and just serving look after look.
First off was this Oscars 2018 dress, which may very well be best of the night:
serving Peter Pan realness
The glittery, satiny, oh-so-strappy Versace drown was custom, with matching metallic mint heels and a sheer train. This is one of those rare dresses that could look fierce short or long, but we absolutely love the way this dress flows. It’s like a cross between Joan of Arc and a Greek goddess.
And now she’s modeling – even with a shoe across her rack she’s still finer than the rest of these Beckys.
This new shoot from the RE/DONE x Weejuns ad campaign is unusual for sure, but somehow this leopard-print loafer looks even better as a bra. The shot also shows off Paris’s intricate tattoos and bodywork – she’s rumored to have up to 20 different pieces of artwork.
We’re looking forward to seeing more of Paris Jackson in the years to come.
